We-Metertm Insights
Hey you 💕 just wanted to say I haven’t stopped thinking about your smile from the other day 😍
✚
Positive: Warm, affectionate opening, normal affectionate flattery at early-stage connection.
Haha thank you, that’s sweet. I had a good time too. Nice break from work stress.
✅
Healthy: Polite acknowledgment, maintains a gentle boundary ("nice break" rather than overly sentimental).
It wasn’t just nice, it was perfect. You have this energy I haven’t felt in years. No one I’ve dated has made me feel like this. Not even my ex and we were together for 3 years.
⚠️
Yellow Flag (Love Bombing): Rapid escalation of emotional tone ("perfect", comparisons with past serious relationships) at a very early stage.
That’s a big compliment. I’m glad you felt a spark. 😊
✅
Healthy: Polite acceptance, maintains boundaries while recognizing positive regard.
It’s like I’ve finally found someone who gets me. I was literally telling my best friend I think you're one of the most emotionally intelligent people I’ve ever met.
✚
⚠️
Positive: Open compliment, validating Sam's qualities.
Yellow Flag (Idealization / Love Bombing): Overly intense idealization ("finally found someone who gets me") when the relationship has barely begun.
Thank you. I try to do my best to be kind and compassionate.
✅
Healthy: Continues maintaining a stable boundary, appreciates the compliment.
I know, and I just feel safe with you in a way I don’t with others. I don’t want to ruin it by moving too fast, but… yeah. You feel different.
✚
⚠️
Positive: Expression of vulnerability and caution around pacing.
Yellow Flag (Power play): Introducing a dramatic sense ("ruin it") could create pressure for Sam to reassure or comply.
I really like where this is going too. Glad we’re on the same page.
✅
Healthy: Affirms mutual desire, a balanced reply.
Although full transparency - there’s someone I went on a couple dates with before you, and she texted me again. I didn’t reply. But I wanted to be honest.
⚠️
Yellow Flag (Triangulation): Mentioning another person creates implicit pressure for exclusivity or reassurance, testing Sam’s reaction.
Appreciate you being upfront. We never said we're exclusive.
✅
Healthy: Clear boundary setting, while still being respectful.
That’s what I mean - she messaged and it felt so shallow after connecting with you. But just saying it stirred some feelings. Not for her. Just made me realize how much I want this with you to work.
⚠️
Yellow Flag (Triangulation): Slight dramatization, leveraging third-party ("shallow" compared to you) to intensify feelings.
That makes me feel special ❤️
✅
Healthy: Receives validation positively.
I want to build something real. You're the first geniunely warm person I’ve met in a long time.
⚠️
Yellow Flag (Idealization): Labeling Sam as uniquely safe/exalted could put pressure on them not to disappoint.
I just want to make sure you don’t feel like you have to prove anything to me.
✅
Healthy: Emotional awareness, supportiveness.
I’ve been really vulnerable and maybe I shouldn’t be. You’re probably too busy anyway. You didn’t even text yesterday until long after I did.
⚠️
Yellow Flag (Guilt / Pressure): Introduces guilt around "busyness" and not texting immediately.
I was in meetings back to back all day.
✅
Healthy: Reasonable boundary clarifying responsibilities and work pressures.
It just hurts when I don’t hear from you. Maybe I care more. That’s on me.
⚠️
Yellow Flag (Guilt / Dependency / Victimization): Creates a victim-perpetrator dynamic suggesting Sam is responsible for their unmet needs.
I care too, but I this is our busy time at work.
✅
Healthy: Reinforces their position clearly, maintains emotional clarity.
So I’m a distraction?
🚩
Red Flag (Gaslighting, Provocation): Deliberately misconstruing their words to evoke guilt. Intentionally provoking an emotional response.
That’s not what I said. Please don’t twist it.
✅
Healthy: Clear pushback against manipulation.
I'm sorry. I guess I’m too intense. You seem to have your life all together, and I’m still healing from being discarded by someone who didn’t value me.
⚠️
Yellow Flag (Victimhood): Presenting self negatively ("too intense"), invoking a pity play. Emphasizes past trauma for sympathy and moral high-ground.
I do value you. But I've got a very demanding boss.
🛈
✅
Risky: Conflating themselves with Jess' former partner.
Healthy: Reiterating care while calmly maintaining external circumstances.
I’ve opened up to you more than anyone. I feel like I’m too much. Again.
🚩
Red Flag (Gaslighting, Victimhood): Strong manipulation - implying Sam wasn't empathetic enough, reinforcing themselves as a victim.
That's not what I want you to feel.
🛈
Risky: Taking responsibility for Jess' feelings.
Then show me. I need to feel secure. Can I ask something? Could we both pause dating other people while we explore this?
🚩
Red Flag (Boundary push / Isolation): Pressure tactic after creating emotional uncertainty - ramping up stress then offering exclusivity as resolution.
I thought we were taking things slow?
✅
Healthy: Boundary assertion.
You said that, but I’ve been all in. Have you?
🚩
Red Flag (Coercion): Guilt-tripping designed to corner Sam into compliance.
I really like you, but we never said we were exclusive.
✅
Healthy: Reinforces their position clearly, maintains emotional clarity.
So you’re still swiping? You made me believe this was something.
🚩
Red Flag (Guilt / Gaslighting): Jess portrays themselves as victimized, and accuses Sam of manipulative intentions ("you made me believe").
I mean… yes, occasionally. It’s not like I’m pursuing others.
✅
Healthy: Honesty and transparancy.
I guess I’m just always the one who cares more. Maybe that’s my problem… I just wish I was enough for once.
🚩
Red Flag (Pity play, Gaslighting): Suggesting repetitive victimhood, casting themselves continually as wounded and undervalued, subtly blaming Sam again.
You are enough. I'm sorry I haven't initiated more.
🛈
Risky: Reacting to manipulation with self-blame.
I wish I was more like you. Calm. Collected.
⚠️
Yellow Flag (Guilt / Pity play): Suggesting their emotional instability is a sympathizable weakness to extract more reassurance.
I'm really sorry but I have to go to bed now. I get up in 4 hours.
🛈
Risky: Apologizing for self-care.
Okay, message me tomorrow if you have the time.
⚠️
Yellow Flag (Guilt): Implying neglect.
I will. Good night.
Good night.